


All The Kids Are Depressed

by Violent_Bulldog



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: And disasters, Drug Use, Eleven is just Jane and has no powers, F/F, F/M, Gen, Jonathan is emo, M/M, Max is always like a minute away from just dyeing her hair black for the fucks of it, Max is emo, Mike is emo, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Not Season/Series 03 Compliant, Other, Robin's last name is Scoops fight me, Steve and Robin aren't together they're just the best friends, Texting, They're all Gen Z'ers, chat fic, eVeRyOnE iS fUcKiNg EmO
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-06-25 12:09:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19745479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Violent_Bulldog/pseuds/Violent_Bulldog
Summary: The Stranger Things chat fic that nobody asked me forWelcome to hell





	1. Chapter 1

_M. Wheeler added W. Byers, J. Hopper, L. Sinclair, D. Henderson, M. Mayfield, N. Wheeler, S. Harrington, R. Scoops, J. Byers and B. Hargrove to a group chat_

_M. Wheeler named the chat " **All The Kids Are Depressed"**_

_M. Wheeler has changed their name to " **Wheels"** _

_Wheels:_ welcome to hell 

_B. Hargrove:_ we aren't in my house but okay

_Wheels:_ wow, way to start this chat

_M. Mayfield:_ I mean, he's not wrong?

_Wheels has changed B. Hargrove's name to " **Hey Demons** "_

_Wheels has changed M. Mayfield's name to " **zoom** "_

_zoom:_ I fucking detest you

_Wheels:_ you love me hoe

_zoom:_ fuck you

_Hey Demons:_ Mike is an emo

_zoom:_ rt

_Wheels:_ fuck you and fuck your family

_W. Byers:_ Mike, play nice

_Wheels:_ yes dear

_J. Byers:_ both Will and Nancy just spat out their drinks

_Wheels has changed J. Byers' name to " **Father** "_

_Father:_ I don't know how to feel about that since Steve is your mother

_Wheels:_ eh

_Wheels has changed S. Harrington's name to " **Mother** "_

_zoom:_ is this how you start a war?

_Mother:_ yes


	2. Chapter 2

_N. Wheeler:_ why are we here?

_zoom:_ just to suffer

_N. Wheeler:_ seriously, why are we here?

_zoom:_ just to fucking suffer nancy

_N. Wheeler:_ i'm being attacked by an infant

_zoom:_ I am 4 years younger than you, fuck off

_zoom has changed N. Wheeler's name to " **That Bitch** "_

_That Bitch:_ that is a compliment, I AM that bitch

_zoom:_ I hope someone drops a brick on your foot

_That Bitch:_ rude

_W. Byers:_ my nearly sister-in-law and my best friend are fighting

_W. Byers:_ over what? I don't know

_zoom:_ she called me an infant

_W. Byers:_ max

_W. Byers:_ you're literally the youngest out of all of us

_zoom:_ thEY DIDN'T KNOW THAT

_zoom:_ WILL SHHHHH

_That Bitch changed W. Byers' name to " **The Spy** "_

_The Spy:_ oops?

_That Bitch:_ so I was right

_That Bitch:_ I was being attacked by an infant

_zoom:_ this house is a fucking nightmare

_Hey Demons:_ which house though?

_zoom:_ do you only join in with conversation when you can make a reference to how shit our homelife is?

_Hey Demons:_ yep

_zoom:_ this house really is a fucking nightmare

_Wheels:_ school is the worst thing ever, I am droppuig out

_zoom:_ no you're not

_Wheels:_ why not

_The Spy:_ because you can't spell and you wouldn't want to leave us

_Wheels:_ fuck

_Wheels:_ also, u rigt

_L. Sinclair:_ what the fuck

_zoom:_ I hate mike, it's confirmed

_L. Sinclair:_ didn't you hate him in the beginning

_zoom:_ no HE hated ME

_Wheels:_ still do

_zoom:_ well, fuck

_Wheels has changed L. Sinclair's name to " **Het** "_

_Het:_ really bitch?

_Wheels:_ really bish

_zoom:_ i hate everyone here

_J. Hopper:_ even me?

_zoom:_ okay, first, no never you

_zoom:_ second, why is the FIRST time Jane is active is when I insult people?

_The Spy:_ she has an automatic trigger that tells her when you're being mean

_The Spy:_ and so do I, so be nice or else

_zoom:_ or else what? I feel like i'm being threatened by a cinnamon roll

_The Spy:_ or else MAXINE, I will tell Billy your secret

_zoom:_ okay oKAY

_Hey Demons:_ maxxx

zoom: fuck

_Hey Demons:_ spill

_Wheels:_ the tea, sis

_Hey Demons:_ ...not where I was going but okay

_zoom:_ so I maybe kinda sorta possibly might have robbed a store?

_The Spy:_ wait, wHAT?

_Hey Demons:_ MAX WHAT THE FUCK?

_zoom:_ IN MY DEFENCE

_zoom:_ ...

_zoom:_ uh, i have no defence

_Wheels:_ how did you not get caught?

_zoom:_ because i am sneaky

_Het:_ because she looks like she's gonna shoot up the school

_zoom:_ hEY

_The Spy:_ I mean... he's not wrong

_zoom:_ wait, Will what were you gonna tell Billy?

_The Spy:_ that you broke into his room and stole his vodka

_Hey Demons:_ wait, that was you?

_zoom:_ ya

_Hey Demons:_ I thought it was Steve

_Mother:_ like I would step foot in your house

_zoom:_ rt

_Hey Demons:_ rt

_Mother:_ these children concern me

_R. Scoops:_ you have befriended like, 8+ children

_Mother:_ hAVE NOT

_R. Scoops:_ Max, Mike, Jane, Will, Lucas, Dustin, Erica, Billy apparently, Me apparently and Suzie

_Mother:_ okay fuck you

_R. Scoops:_ no thanks

_Mother has changed R. Scoops' name to " **FFL** "_

_FFL:_ huh?

_Mother:_ Funky Fuckin Lesbian

_FFL:_ ...

_Wheels:_ wait go back

_Wheels:_ Steve is a mother to Billy and Robin?

_FFL:_ I am 8 months younger than him, Billy is 6 and Steve decided that we are also his children last week at the pool

_FFL:_ also

_FFL:_ eveStay isyay ayay itchbay

_zoom:_ ooft

_Mother:_ what

_D. Henderson:_ it's Pig Latin again

_FFL:_ dingus

_Mother:_ well WHATS IT SAYYY

_zoom:_ Steve is a bitch

_Mother:_ is that your opinion or what it says?

_zoom:_ both

_Wheels:_ how do u kno?

_zoom:_ cause i can speak Pig Latin???

_Wheels:_ whatttt

_zoom:_ swine

_zoom:_ you are an uncultured swine Michael Wheeler

_Het:_ Max can speak like, every language

_Wheels:_ I don't believe it

_zoom:_ lul

_zoom:_ connard

_zoom:_ kusipää

_zoom:_ arschloch

_zoom:_ rassgat

_zoom:_ dupek

_zoom:_ mudak

_zoom:_ a taster session for u

_Wheels:_ what are they

_zoom:_ Dutch, French, Finnish, German, Icelandic, Polish and Russian

_Wheels:_ ...

_zoom:_ Spanish, Portuguese and Pig Latin too

_Wheels:_ i'm too scared to call her a nerd

_FFL:_ bilingual friends

_Hey Demons:_ is that why you speak to yourself in your room all the time?

_zoom:_ no, i'm just insane

_Hey Demons:_ eh, makes sense

_Wheels:_ i am scared

_Wheels:_ who has time to learn THAT many languages

_Wheels:_ AND be top in all of their classes

_Wheels:_ AND HAVE A FUCKING JOB

_zoom:_ we've established that I do nothing apart from those three things

_Wheels:_ you're still the top player at all games at the old arcade

_zoom:_ that's cause we're the only people to still go to it

_Wheels:_ how

_Wheels:_ you're not human

_Wheels:_ you are a different species

_zoom:_ probably tbh

_That Bitch:_ did we all just forget that MAX ROBBED A STORE???

_Wheels:_ yes bitch

_J. Hopper:_ have you ever fell deeper in love with someone?

_The Spy:_ yes

_J. Hopper:_ okay, if I start drooling, just punch me in the face

_The Spy:_ mood

_Father:_ are you two okay?

_J. Hopper:_ just very much in love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lul - Asshole  
> connard - Shithead   
> kusipää - Cunt (I tried Asshole and it changed to this, I know it's a strong word, I don't like it)  
> arschloch - Asshole  
> rassgat - Asshole  
> dupek - Asshole  
> mudak - Asshole
> 
> yes, Max can speak 10+ languages, fight me  
> and yes, she robbed a store  
> by that I mean she stole from the tip jar when the employee wasn't looking and stole 3 packs of gum
> 
> this will probably be very Max-centric because I love her  
> also, she's probably not actually the youngest out of the Party, but I'll pretend she is


	3. Chapter 3

_FFL:_ what is love?

_Mother:_ baby don't hurt me

_Father:_ don't hurt me

_That Bitch:_ no more

_zoom:_ why are the senior citizens having a conjoint mental breakdown?

_Mother:_ call me a senior citizen again, I dare you

_zoom:_ Steve is a senior citizen

_Mother:_ that's it

_FFL:_ steve?

_That Bitch:_ steve

_D. Henderson:_ steve just stormed to his car

_D. Henderson:_ max, you might want to run

_zoom:_ I triggered my only decent parental figure

_Hey Demons:_ am I a joke to you?

_zoom:_ yes

_Hey Demons:_ valid

_The Spy:_ I am very concerned?

_Wheels:_ this is funny

_zoom:_ suck a dick

_Wheels:_ k

_The Spy:_ oh my god

_The Spy:_ I dislike you all

_The Spy:_ except for Jane, Jonathan, Nancy and Dustin

_FFL:_ :(

_The Spy:_ aND ROBIN, ILY 

_FFL:_ :)

_Hey Demons:_ okay so Steve just unlocked the front door with a paperclip???

_zoom:_ fuck

_FFL:_ Steve, ffs

_Wheels:_ what's he even gonna do to max?

_D. Henderson:_ kinky shit

_J. Hopper:_ wAIT THAT'S ILLEGAL

D. Henderson: I would like to retract my previous statement

_Wheels has changed D. Henderson's name to " **KiNkY sHiT"**_

_KiNkY sHiT:_ wow

Hey Demons: He took her skateboard and threatened to hit her with it if she didn't behave

_Wheels:_ maybe Dustin was right, damn Steve

_Hey Demons:_ Robin's here too

_Hey Demons:_ I didn't know we were having a party, I would have bought more Vodka

_Hey Demons:_ after Max stole mine

_zoom:_ hELP ME YOU DINGUS

_Hey Demons:_ ugh

_Father:_ should we be concerned?

_Het:_ probably

_FFL:_ wow steve really is a fuckin mother

_Het:_ ??

_FFL:_ he was gesturing with the board and hit Max in the face with it

_FFL:_ Now he's apologising frantically and checking for injuries

_Father:_ wow, mother indeed

_That Bitch:_ maybe he is a semi-good babysitter

_J. Hopper:_ apart from the whole 'Smacking Max in the face with a heavy skateboard' part, right

_That Bitch:_ ... yeah, apart from that

_Mother:_ IM A BAD PARENT

_Mother:_ I KILLED MY CHILD

_zoom:_ stfu

_Mother:_ SOMETIMES I STILL SEE HER TEXTS

_zoom:_ STEVE SHUT UP

_Mother:_ :,(

_zoom:_ nightmare man

_Hey Demons:_ yes???

_zoom:_ fOR FUCK SAKE GRJIUEBGTH

_The Spy:_ ...anyways

_The Spy:_ Max, are you okay?

_The Spy:_ physically not mentally

_zoom:_ yes

_zoom:_ I think

_zoom:_ I don't remember

_Mother:_ I GAVE HER MEMORY LOSS, JESUS SAVE ME

_zoom:_ I will shoot you

_The Spy:_ with a nerf gun

_zoom:_ nah, N*il has a real gun

_The Spy:_ wITH A NERF GUN MAXINE

_zoom:_ if you're not careful, I'll shoot you too bish

_Wheels:_ try it, I fucking dare yoy

_zoom:_ pay attention in class you fucking gremlin, maybe then you'll be able to form normal wORDS

_Wheels:_ f u c k

_Het:_ I actually hate each and every one of you

_The Spy:_ sad boi times

_That Bitch:_ mAX NO

_Wheels:_ what did she do now?

_That Bitch:_ SHE MADE A VIDEO ON TIKTOK (cringe btw) OF HER HOLDING THE GUN

_Wheels:_ does steve have to knock her out with the fucking skateboard???

_Wheels:_ wait, Nancy... you have TikTok?

_That Bitch:_ leave me alone

_zoom:_ can't catch me, I'm the fuckin gingerbread man

_FFL:_ why can nobody control the small child?

_zoom:_ I would say I'd shoot you, but I like you too much

_FFL:_ that's the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me

_zoom:_ <3

_FFL:_ <3

_Wheels:_ robin can control the small child apparently

_zoom:_ I'll shoot your kneecaps

_Hey Demons:_ Max is literally taller than Dustin?

_KiNkY sHiT:_ hEY

_KiNkY sHiT:_ Don't expose me like that

_Hey Demons:_ too late bro

_Wheels:_ F

_Het:_ F

_The Spy:_ F

_J. Hopper:_ did anyone take the gun away from Max?

_Wheels:_ uhh

_Hey Demons:_ no...?

_J. Hopper:_ FOR FUCK SAKE

_zoom:_ hit or miss?

_zoom:_ I'm gonna blow my brain to bits

_J. Hopper:_ mAX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aNgSt


	4. Chapter 4

_FFL:_ Steve, remember when we were drugged at a party?

_Mother:_ ya

_FFL:_ Methinks someone gave Max the same drugs

_Mother:_ oh shit

_FFL:_ Behind the arcade

_Mother:_ omw

_Het:_ wait, you were druGGED??

_FFL:_ Ya, catch up hetero

_Het:_ I-

_Het:_ k

_That Bitch:_ did you get the gun away from Max?

_FFL:_ Ya

_FFL:_ Jane took it and launched it somewhere

_FFL:_ Btw, she can throw so fuckin far?? like, it's goneeee

_Het:_ did you take the drugs too?

_FFL:_ no

_FFL:_ just a little bit, don't judge me

_That Bitch:_ no wonder Max likes Robin the most

_FFL:_ stfu u priss

_Mother:_ she's definitely on drugs again

_That Bitch:_ how do you know?

_Mother:_ she called you a priss last time too

_That Bitch:_ mildly hurt but okay

_FFL:_ Rip

_FFL:_ Steeeeeve are you nearly here?

_FFL:_ Max is trying to throw rocks at us but keeps hitting herself with them somehow

_Mother:_ oh for fuck sakeeee

_zoom:_ surprise bitch

_zoom:_ bet you thought you saw the last of me

_Wheels:_ iconic

_The Spy:_ Max, are you okay?

_zoom:_ ye

_J. Hopper:_ dumbass hoe

_zoom:_ ouch

_zoom:_ my feelings

_zoom:_ :(

_J. Hopper:_ Steve, Robin and I dragged her into Steve's car and made her sleep at his house till today

_J. Hopper:_ the scoop duo think she should be okay by tonight

_zoom:_ am prisoner

_zoom:_ must escape 

_J. Hopper:_ no you must fucking not

_Het:_ is Robin sober?

_FFL:_ am I ever?

_Hey Demons:_ mood

_The Spy:_ anyways

_The Spy:_ Max is still drugged and is being held safe at Steve's house, correct?

_J. Hopper:_ yes

_Wheels:_ you know what this calls for, right?

_J. Hopper:_ oh no

_Het:_ STEVE WE COMIN TO ROB YO ASS OF FOOD

_Mother:_ you're all banned from my house, don't fucking dare

_FFL:_ children, come over

_Het:_ WE GOT AUNT ROBIN'S PERMISSION, LET'S GO BOYS

_Mother:_ rOBIN

_FFL:_ HA

_FFL:_ Iyay inway, ethay ildrenchay ovelay emay oremay

_Mother:_ IN FUCKIN ENGLISH

_Father:_ technically, it is English

_Mother:_ shhhhhhh

_FFL:_ I win, the children love me more

_Mother:_ liessss

_zoom:_ i love robin most

_FFL:_ <3

_Mother:_ all who love me more, say I

_KiNkY sHiT:_ I

_Mother:_ seriously?

_FFL:_ all those who love ME more, say I

_Wheels:_ I

_Het:_ I

_The Spy:_ I

_That Bitch:_ I

_zoom:_ I

_J. Hopper:_ I

_Mother:_ oKAY I GET IT

_Mother:_ fine, you can come over. Just don't break anything

_Het:_ YEAHHHH

_Mother:_ tHEY'VE BEEN HERE FOR A MINUTE AND A PLATE IS ALREADY BROKEN

_Wheels:_ THAT WAS ROBIN

_FFL:_ I'M SORRY

_That Bitch:_ stop yelling

_Het:_ Max is upside down and staring at Jane and I'm honestly not surprised

_FFL:_ can confirm, it's gay

_zoom:_ immmmmm gay

_J. Hopper:_ for fuck sake

_Wheels:_ Jane dragged Max out of the room

_Het:_ MAX SCREAMED 'THIS IS A GAYS ONLY EVENT' AND SLAMMED THE DOOR

_Mother:_ that's my parent's bedroom, if they do ANYTHING I will commit homicide

_FFL:_ more like homocide

_Mother:_ ROBIN

_Father:_ I'm surprised that Billy hasn't said anything about his little sister being drugged

_Hey Demons:_ that's cause I'm tracking this hoe and going to murder them

_Father:_ oh 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> zoom: Max  
> Wheels: Mike  
> The Spy: Will  
> Het: Lucas  
> KiNkY sHiT: Dustin  
> J. Hopper: Jane  
> That Bitch: Nancy  
> Father: Jonathan  
> Mother: Steve  
> FFL: Robin  
> Hey Demons: Billy  
> 1989: Heather

_zoom:_ uhghjkl

_The Spy:_ you good Max?

_zoom:_ i hurt

_zoom:_ everywhere

_The Spy:_ take medicine?

_zoom:_ more drugs? no thanks

_zoom:_ oh, Jane's here now jdjskoijwekl

_The Spy:_ Max?

_Wheels:_ did Jane just kill her?

_The Spy:_ I think so...

_J. Hopper:_ oh for fuck sake

_The Spy:_ what?

_J. Hopper:_ max managed to get onto amazon last night

_The Spy:_ oh no

_J. Hopper:_ guess what she bought?

_Wheels:_ what?

_J. Hopper:_ nine thousand ELASTIC BANDS

_The Spy:_ WHAT

_J. Hopper:_ SHE SPENT MORE THAN 500$ ON THEM

_Wheels:_ MAX OH MY GOD

_J. Hopper:_ NO REFUNDS EITHER

_The Spy:_ MAX

_Hey Demons:_ she has an elastic band pistol and shotgun

_The Spy:_ w h a t

_Hey Demons:_ they... shoot elastic bands?

_Mother:_ observant as ever Hargrove

_Hey Demons:_ suck my dick Harrington

_Mother:_ sure

_Hey Demons:_ wait WHAT

_The Spy:_ ewewewew

_KiNkY sHiT:_ steve no, plz no

_Hey Demons:_ It's Heather, Billy just fell into the pool

_J. Hopper:_ hey Heather

_Hey Demons:_ Hey Jane!

_Wheels:_ did he drown?

_Hey Demons:_ no... he's a lifeguard. He has to know how to swim

_Wheels:_ oh shit, u righ

_J. Hopper:_ STOP SAYING THAT MIKE

_The Spy:_ why didn't we had Heather into the chat?

_Wheels:_ I don't have her number?

_The Spy:_ but you had Billy's?

_Wheels:_ Max gave it to me, shut up 

_J. Hopper added H. Holloway to the chat_

_H. Holloway:_ :)

_H. Holloway:_ by the way, Billy is absolutely the messiest bisexual that I've ever encountered

_J. Hopper:_ must run in the family then

_Hey Demons:_ HEATHER I WILL MURDER YOU

_H. Holloway:_ Sure Jan

_H. Holloway changed their name to **"1989"**_

_Wheels:_ ??

_1989:_ Heathers came out in 1989

_Wheels:_ that's... actually pretty smart

_Hey Demons:_ speaking of Heathers, Ms Byers looks so much like Veronica Sawyer

_Wheels:_ holy shit, u righ

_J. Hopper:_ i'm going to kill Mike. Also, she really does...?

_zoom:_ Jane has me held hostage, help

_The Spy:_ why are you always held hostage?

_zoom:_ idk, gay reasons?

_J. Hopper:_ Maxine

_zoom:_ KIDDING KIDDING

_zoom:_ or am I?

_zoom:_ also, Steve and Billy?? I knew it

_The Spy:_ how?

_zoom:_ happy screams weren't always from girls

_Hey Demons:_ MAXINE

_Hey Demons:_ YOU'RE GONNA REGRET THAT

_zoom:_ wait

_zoom:_ wait, wait, Billy don't you dare

_zoom:_ BILLY DON'T

_Hey Demons:_ Max draws hearts around Jane's initials and writes notes to her in the back of her school books

_zoom:_ BILLY

_Hey Demons:_ oh, she also totally has a collection of Playboy magazines in her room

_zoom:_ BILLY FDJDISLK

_J. Hopper:_ okay first, she ran and locked herself in the bathroom. Second, the first part of that is adorable

_zoom:_ KJDDFSKJLFJDBHFUBKJ

_The Spy:_ Billy and Jane team up to destroy Max's dignity

_zoom:_ ALREADY DONE

_FFL:_ we love a gay mental breakdown

_The Spy:_ so Max and I on the daily?

_FFL:_ yes

_FFL:_ I wanna tell y'all

_FFL:_ steve set his phone lock screen to Billy, shirtless

_Hey Demons:_ oH

_Mother:_ hey, you look good. not my opinion but a worldwide known fact

_FFL:_ take it to the DM's boys, there are children here

_Mother:_ k

_FFL:_ god, i hate him

_KiNkY sHiT:_ no you don't

_FFL:_ no, I don't...

_FFL:_ well, I kinda do cause he always had Tammy's attention but still

_Wheels:_ Unlock Robin's backstory; 9.99$

_FFL:_ suck a dick child

_Wheels:_ tis a crime grandma

_FFL:_ oh now you've really done it

_FFL:_ NO MORE SCOOPS AHOY FOR YOU

_Wheels:_ wait wAIT WAIT I TAKE IT BACK

_FFL:_ TOO LATE WHEELER

_The Spy:_ ...this house is a nightmare

_zoom:_ robin

_zoom:_ robin

_zoom:_ robin

_zoom:_ robin

_zoom:_ ROBIN

_FFL:_ what do you want

_FFL:_ its two in the morning Max

_zoom:_ gay tea

_FFL:_ suddenly, I am wide awake

_zoom:_ okay so

_zoom:_ after billy made me have a gay mental breakdown in Steve's bathroom, Jane talked to me

_zoom:_ she told me that I was cute (lies but okay) and said that she liked me

_zoom:_ like, liked liked me

_FFL:_ oh my god, my gay children

_zoom:_ ik

_zoom:_ i said that I liked her too and then she took me to the forest?? and I thought that she might murder me

_zoom:_ but there was a super pretty lake and the moon shined so nicely in it and the moonlight made her look even prettier which I didn't think was possible

_zoom:_ and we talked for like... four hours

_zoom:_ and thennnnn

_zoom:_ we kissed and I nearly had a heart attack

_zoom:_ and now, we're back at her house and she's asleep on me and I'm dying

_zoom:_ why are girls so pretty?

_zoom:_ specifically, why is Jane Elle Hopper so pretty?

_FFL:_ not gonna lie

_FFL:_ might be crying

_FFL:_ I am so happy for you two, I am a proud aunt of two small gays

_zoom:_ <3

_FFL:_ <3

_Mother:_ as cute as that was

_Mother:_ Billy and I found out who drugged Max

_zoom:_ who?

_Hey Demons:_ Troy and James

_zoom:_ oh, you've got to be shitting me


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> zoom: Max  
> Wheels: Mike  
> The Spy: Will  
> Het: Lucas  
> KiNkY sHiT: Dustin  
> J. Hopper: Jane  
> That Bitch: Nancy  
> Father: Jonathan  
> Mother: Steve  
> FFL: Robin  
> Hey Demons: Billy  
> 1989: Heather

_Mother:_ I have my bat ready to beat their brains out

_FFL:_ okay Steve

_FFL:_ they did something horrible but they are children

_FFL:_ you can't just murder them

_Mother:_ watch me

_zoom:_ Steve, no

_zoom:_ I have a plan

_Mother:_ already?

_zoom:_ yes, now listen

_zoom:_ Jonathan, I'll need your photography skills

_Father:_ uh, sure?

_zoom:_ so

_zoom:_ I don't remember much but I know that they were hanging around the back of the old arcade

_zoom:_ and that they had a duffle bag full of shit, probably more drugs

_zoom:_ so, I go back there to find them

_zoom:_ if they're there, they'll try and drug me again cause they're dickheads

_zoom:_ if they do, Jonathan needs to take photos of them, each move they make

_zoom:_ before they actually do drug me, whoever else is with us can like... nearly kill them?

_FFL:_ Max, that's a lot of risk though

_zoom:_ yeah well

_zoom:_ I'd rather that then them getting away with it cause we don't have any solid proof

_Father:_ She's right. The cops won't do anything without a decent amount of proof

_FFL:_ I guess. I just don't want Max to get hurt. What if we're not fast enough and they do drug her again?

_zoom:_ more proof tbh

_FFL:_ if you're sure about this then

_FFL:_ I'm in. Nobody hurts the kids

_Mother:_ Mom Steve and Aunt Robin are gonna team up and wreck those two

_zoom:_ decent parental figures? In this household?

_Mother:_ I had to calm Billy down, he was ready to shoot them

_zoom:_ decent sibling figure? finally?

_Hey Demons:_ you know I love you, right?

_zoom:_ I know. I love you too... asshole

_zoom:_ so I filled Jane in on the plan and she almost threw a plate at me

_zoom:_ correction

_zoom:_ she is now throwing multiple plates at me

_Wheels:_ a healthy relationship? 

_Wheels:_ nope

_J. Hopper:_ mike, I will murder you

_J. Hopper:_ she wants to LET HERSELF GET DRUGGED AGAIN

_J. Hopper:_ THAT'S NOT OKAY

_zoom:_ Janeeee, I know what I'm doing. I have literally all the adults of our group helping

_J. Hopper:_ even Heather?

_zoom:_ Heather, wanna help?

_1989:_ sure!

_zoom:_ even Heather

_J. Hopper:_ fine... only if I come too

_zoom:_ as long as you don't throw plates at them

_J. Hopper:_ I'll throw knives instead

_zoom:_ JANE NO

_Het:_ I leave for a day and so much happens

_Het:_ Max and Jane got together (finally)

_Het:_ Billy and Steve also got together?? I think?? AND they found out who drugged Max

_Het:_ Max set up a suicide mission

_Het:_ Robin, Steve, Billy and Jane are all going to murder two teenagers

_Het:_ Nancy, Heather and Jonathan are along for the ride

_Het:_ and next week on Keeping Up With The Kardashians

_Het:_ murder

_FFL:_ Mission Impossible is a go

_FFL:_ Heather is gonna be your information source cause the rest of us are about to throw hands

_1989:_ I feel like i'm part of a news report

_1989:_ anyways

_1989:_ We're all hiding behind some dumpsters and Max is approaching the two. Jonathan is on the arcade roof... somehow?

_1989:_ Troy (I think) took something out of the duffle bag that the other boy (James?) is holding

_1989:_ WOW

_Wheels:_ what?

_The Spy:_ what happened?

_1989:_ Troy is saying things... things that I really don't want to repeat

_The Spy:_ homophobic things?

_1989:_ Homophobic, Sexist, Degrading, Racist things. He called Lucas... that word

_Het:_ oh wow

_1989:_ MAX SLAPPED HIM

_Het:_ platonic love

_1989:_ shit

_The Spy:_ Heather?

_Wheels:_ Heather??

_KiNkY sHiT:_ Shit

_Het:_ Heather, what happened?

_1989:_ uh, Troy drugged Max, Jonathan took photos and everyone is murdering the two

_1989:_ but Max isn't conscious

_1989:_ I'm not sure if she's breathing

_Wheels:_ WHAT

_1989:_ OKAY FALSE ALARM, SHE IS

_1989:_ IM SORRY!

_The Spy:_ I think my heart stopped

_1989:_ Hopper's on his way, so is an ambulance

_1989:_ they might have killed Troy and James but that's okay


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> zoom: Max  
> Wheels: Mike  
> The Spy: Will  
> Het: Lucas  
> KiNkY sHiT: Dustin  
> J. Hopper: Jane  
> That Bitch: Nancy  
> Father: Jonathan  
> Mother: Steve  
> FFL: Robin  
> Hey Demons: Billy  
> 1989: Heather

_That Bitch:_ I never thought that I'd see Billy Hargrove cry, but here we are

_That Bitch:_ to be fair, I think everyone is crying

_Wheels:_ Nancy?

_That Bitch:_ yeah?

_Wheels:_ Is Max gonna be okay?

_That Bitch:_ I-

_That Bitch:_ I don't know to be honest

_That Bitch:_ but I know that she's tough and won't go down without a fight

_Wheels:_ okay... thank you

_That Bitch:_ We'll make sure things go as well as they can Mike. I promise

_J. Hopper:_ I hate hospitals

_J. Hopper:_ I also hate how some of the nurses recognised Billy

_J. Hopper:_ and not in the weird way

_J. Hopper:_ in the way that the employees at McDonald's recognise Lucas

_Het:_ like they knew him from past experience?

_J. Hopper:_ yes

_Het:_ is N*il there?

_J. Hopper:_ I don't know, I haven't seen him if he is

_FFL:_ He isn't. Susan's here but N*il didn't care enough to leave the bar

_Het:_ asshole

_FFL:_ It's probably better that he isn't here. I doubt that Max would want to see him when she wakes up, especially if he's drunk

_Het:_ yeah, that's true

_The Spy:_ do you know what happened to Troy and James?

_Mother:_ Hopper handcuffed them and took them down to the station

_Mother:_ that's all

_Het:_ I'd be surprised if Hopper even got to the station without murdering them

_J. Hopper:_ true. He loves Max a lot

_Het:_ mainly cause you love Max a lot

_J. Hopper:_ ... you're right

_J. Hopper:_ I do love Max

_Hey Demons:_ She woke up

_Hey Demons:_ and the first thing she asked was if we wanted to see a butterfly

_Hey Demons:_ I said sure and she took one of those tiny things of butter that the nurse left with food for us and threw it

_Hey Demons:_ then she whispered butterfly and fell asleep again

_Wheels:_ is she okay?

_Hey Demons:_ the doctor said that she should be okay but they'll need to run a shitload of tests

_The Spy:_ god

_Hey Demons:_ Jonathan, did you get the photos?

_Father:_ Yep, I'm uploading them to my laptop to print

_Father:_ The photos, the duffle bag and the tests that they're gonna run on Max are definitely going to be enough proof

_Wheels:_ they can't put Troy and James in prison, can they?

_Hey Demons:_ juvenile centers

_Hey Demons:_ they'll also probably rat out their dealer too, trying to lessen their own punishments

_The Spy:_ so, they'll definitely leave us alone?

_Father:_ Yes Will. They're screwed

_Wheels:_ thank fuck

_FFL:_ Billy, we have a problem

_Hey Demons:_ what?

_FFL:_ N*il's here and he's demanding to see Max

_FFL:_ He also sticks of alcohol

_Hey Demons:_ shit

_Hey Demons:_ good thing we're in a hospital

_Hey Demons:_ cause I'm gonna murder this bitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Billy, Jane, Steve and Robin went to the hospital with Max (Billy and Jane in the ambulance, Robin and Steve in Steve's car)
> 
> The other teens went to Mike's house where the rest of the party were staying
> 
> Mike and Nancy's talk was as the ambulance arrived so she wasn't home yet and Mike just needed reassurance  
> (It was still in the main group chat, there aren't any private messages or different chats yet... let me know if that would be a good idea)

**Author's Note:**

> Chat Fics are so fun to write  
> I tried to stop myself, I swear...
> 
> Short first chapter just to get this published


End file.
